


Get Back to Welcoming!

by frechi123



Series: Epic Rap Battle University of History [2]
Category: Epic Rap Battles of History (Web Series)
Genre: (for the most part), Alternative Universe - College, Gen, M/M, More Backstory, Out of Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-10-04 09:10:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20468573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frechi123/pseuds/frechi123
Summary: Walt Disney’s dad is annoyed with how much school spirit there seems to not be. He tells his son to throw some events!Problem is, he has to trick and blackmail nine people into joining his planning committee. Oh, how friendships blossom.





	1. Prologue: Walt Disney

**Author's Note:**

> aka the story of how the main characters all became a friend group
> 
> BEGIN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, the agony of this sort-of-sad school spirit! Walt’s dad WILL ground him... if he doesn’t do something about it.

_”What is this whole mess?!”_

Walt Disney closed his eyes and listened as his dad tore him a new one. It had been this way since he started their second year. He’d let him off the hook the first year because everything was just getting started for these guys, so he couldn’t expect them to cheer for an unfamiliar place.

But now it was a whole year later, and the only things they cheered about were their own personal interests. Some of the people were the big men and women on campus, and getting all the attention. What about the school?! Didn’t they care?! 

“Dad! Of course they care!” He paced in his room now, fake smile on his face because he barely knew any other expression to wear now. A smile was his resting face. 

_”Not enough, son,” _his dad hissed. _“You’d better get some school pride in their stride or I will take away your ownership rights.”_

For once in his life, the smile dropped from his face. If there’s one thing the would never tolerate, it was losing. 

“Fine! I’ll pep this place up!”

_“Good. You have a month before I’m coming down there.”_

_Click._

Walt threw himself backwards into his bed. How did his dad expect him of all people, who had no close acquaintances here, to do this?!

One thing’s for sure: He wasn’t doing this alone.

And given his reputation among the people here, he was going to have to enlist in some help - and possibly resort to some scary tactics.

The smile slowly crept onto his face again.

Operation: Spirit Squad was a go.

He waltzed (no pun intended) over to his desk, and picked up a walkie talkie.

“Robocop? It’s me. I need you to bring someone down here. Immediately. And if he doesn’t comply so quickly, I’ve got some into for you. Code name: Teddy Bear.”


	2. Theodore “Teddy” Roosevelt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Teddy loves helping people know the way - he’s the unspoken mascot of the school. However, he’s not very pleased after being forced into someone’s dirty work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT’S UP BITCHES?!

”Looking for something?”

“Yeah, can you show me to the Union?”’

“It’s just a few miles down there, Eve! Take a right after that.”

“Awesome! Thanks, Teddy!”

****

“Hey! Teddy! When's your band playing next? I want to know so me and Oprah can advertise!"

"It's in two months, Ellen."

"Haha, thanks! Now we have time to prepare!"

****

"Yo, Teddy R! How are we for the Literature Poetry Slam down at the Stadium?"

"I'd say we're all good to go, Frederick!"

"Nice! I'll go tell John."

******

If there was one thing that Theodore Roosevelt, dubbed Teddy by everyone, loved doing, it was helping all his fellow students. Everyone at one point or another would ask for help from him for all sorts of matters - even from people who may have considered him an enemy. They had to admit that a lot of people would be lost without him.

Teddy was heading back for the Politics building when he was suddenly stopped by the large oak tree. He turned, squinting through his spectacles at who had yanked him behind it.

"Oh? Hello, Robocop. I wasn't expecting to see you back here - usually it's Stan or Jim hiding back there; the poor souls. What can I do for you?"

If there's one thing that everyone at the school knew, it's that Stan Lee and Jim Henson were somehow being forced under the worst of conditions at their part-time jobs that they got under Walt. Everyone remarked that neither of them were ever really the same after that - to the point that they were usually found hiding behind trees at any point when Walt or his cronies were present.

Speaking of, he wondered why Robocop was talking to him now, as he knew the robotic man tended to stick off to the sides unless told to speak to anyone, though he was friends with some of the Espionage and Athlete kids. How he managed that, Teddy didn’t know.

"Theodore Roosevelt. Walt Disney - " he raised a silver arm and pointed right at him - "requests your presence right away."

Teddy felt his eyes growing wide behind his spectacles. _“Excuse me__?”_

Robocop crossed his arms. “This is no time for your dumbfoundedness.“ He grabbed a hold of Teddy’s arm. ”Come with me.”

“No. I have to go back to the PoliSci building for the meeting at 4!”

“It is only 1,” said Robocop, using his free hand to make a small digital clock slide in to emulate a watch, “and it’s only a 30 minute walk from the Business building. You will have time. Now, let’s go.” He started to walk towards the Business building.

“Let go of me! Have you lost your mind?!” Teddy resisted, and tried to pull away, and almost succeeded - were it not for the next words that left the robot’s mouth.

“I suggest you cooperate. I know all about your little disease, asthma boy.”

Teddy froze dead in his place for a moment. How could he know about that? It’s not like he went around telling people about it. “Prying into my private affairs, are we?” He straightened up. “Don’t you have anything better to do?”

Robocop smiled - rather sinisterly if Teddy had to guess. “I am just following orders, do you not see? It is that simple.” He started to pull the poor Teddy Bear away once more. “And if you want to know so badly, ask him yourself.”

******

Teddy didn't think he'd ever been so confused - or in pain (thanks a lot, Robocop) - before. And that's taking the fact of him being shot at while giving his welcome speech last year into question.

He was curious - and a bit worried - of course, of what Walt wanted with him, and why he felt that he had to send Robocop and try to blackmail him to make him come. Could he not have just asked?

He didn't have time to think about it, as the grand double doors in front of where he's been tied to his seat (only his ankles to a leg and his arms behind the chair) suddenly opened up, and in stepped the wicked warlock from the west side of the school himself, Walt Disney. The man wore his signature smile adorned upon his tight face as he strode over to Teddy with a purpose.

"Well, well, look what we have here!" called his near-permanently gleeful voice from only a foot away. Teddy looked down, being unable to look anywhere at the time. 

"What do you want from me?" Teddy couldn't believe that his voice could even be this loud, and he would have covered his mouth if given the chance. Everyone who knew him knew that despite the fact that he could project himself loudly, he usually chose to be quieter when it games to other things, usually writing down messages instead.

"Oh, come on now, Teddy Bear, no need for all this dramatique," said Walt. He walked over to the desk in his dorm-suite and picked up a handkerchief, monogrammed W.D. "Calm yourself, and stand up, I've got a proposal for you." He turned to the double doors and whistled. 

In walked the Terminator. Like Robocop, though he had free will, Walt had the sway over him, but unlike Robocop, he didn't talk much. Without a word, he walked behind Teddy and slashed the ropes with a saw attachment in his hand. Walt handed the handkerchief over, and Teddy took it wordlessly, twisting it while he talked.

"Now, I didn't bring you here to conduct small talk..."

"Of course not," Teddy snapped. "That would be silly."

Walt grit his teeth through the smile. "Interrupt me again, and I'll tell the Terminator to take that saw to your neck!"

With that, Teddy stayed silent, for once.

"As I was saying, there’s going to be an announcement for this later today, but since you are here you’ll get it early. My dad called. He hates your lack of school spirit. He says if you’re going to have all these frivolous activities, you might as well represent the school while you’re doing it.”

“We’re already representing the school, Walt,” said Teddy, looking rather annoyed by the topic. “We just have the decency not to brag or shout to the heavens of people who don’t care like other schools.”

Walt narrowed his eyes. "Well, it's about time you people started doing that! I'm not losing my standing just because you all want to be different from other schools!" He stopped, took deep breaths as Teddy actually recoiled from the shouting, and put the smile back onto his face, although strained. "Now, my father wants to see some school spirit oriented events done at this school to kick it up a notch. And clearly, this isn't something that I can do alone."

"Or are willing to..." Teddy muttered. Unfortunately, he was heard, and Walt's smile dropped off his face once more.

"Robocop! Terminator!" He shouted, then he snapped twice and pointed at Teddy. Teddy shrieked as the robots snatched his arms and hoisted him off the floor. “You’d better quit that, Theodore, or I will tell them to rip your arms off!”

“Get to the point then!” said Teddy, writhing immediately from the tight grip.

"I'm putting together a committee to run this show for me. And you, Teddy - " he pointed at him - "are in charge."

Teddy's mouth dropped open. "What did you say?”

"You heard me. Your status at this school makes you the perfect candidate. No, I won't be involved, because _my _status makes me the worst one. You won't be alone, of course, and if you refuse, I’ll blackmail someone else in your stead." At this, his mouth curled up even higher.

That got him. It’s one thing to try blackmailing him, but another thing to involve someone completely unrelated. Teddy sighed. "Fine. Who is it I'm recruiting, exactly?"

Walt snapped, and Robocop and Terminator put him down. "These two will be around, in case you need help convincing them over. Your first recruitment is to get me these two ladies." He holds out a picture. "Code names? Tea Party and Kpelle. Get moving, this school hangs in the balance!"

As Teddy exited the building, he couldn't help but wonder...

_What on earth have I just been forced into...?_

******

“Well, well, if it isn’t my roommate,” Winston Churchill said when Teddy came back into their dorm. “Where were you?! We were torn to shreds at our meeting!”

Teddy stilled. He had managed to miss the meeting - it was 3 by the time he left that office, and then he’d spent that time wandering aimlessly, wondering if Jim and Stan felt this way constantly... fearing for their lives. 

However, with the day he had, he couldn’t bring himself to care about his fellow students, for once.

“Leave me alone, Winston; I’m not in the mood.”

His roommate put a cigar to his lips and sneered. “Wow, you’re quite the downer today, aren’t you?

“You would be too if you had to go through what I just did today!” Teddy snapped.

That was enough to shut Winston up, as Teddy crossed over to his bed and threw himself into it. “Now,” said the man face down on his bed, “I’m about to try and take a nap and get my mind off of all terrible things that have happened to me today. I’ll have to head out by 5:30 to do something, so don’t even try waking me up until then, but I have an alarm prepared in case.”

With that, Teddy was silent. Winston was so stunned, he put his cigar down.

_What happened to this man?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I edited the chapter quite some. But I feel like I’m still doing it wrong...)


	3. Sarah Palin and Oprah Winfrey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sarah’s used to giving her opinions, and Oprah definitely knows how to advertise. They love what they do, but are suspicious of Teddy’s request...

"What's wrong, Sarah?" Oprah Winfrey asked her friend, who was hanging upside down on her bed.

Her politician friend had waltzed in, in disarray, and flopped onto the bed, looking sort of done – as much as one can when their face isn’t showing. Oprah had known better than to bombard her friend with questions, even with this unexpected visit to her room she shared with Ellen DeGeneres, who was currently out at the moment.

Sarah Palin sighed, and lifted her head to speak. "The meeting didn't go too well. We got ambushed by the other faction again."

"What?? The KQD attacked you again?!"

"Yes! We woulda probably been fine if Teddy had come, but for some reason he didn't show up!"

Oprah gasped. That didn't sound like Teddy to her. If the Kings, Queens, and Dictators had tried anything while he was there, Oprah was sure he would have come up with a battle plan for the Presidents and Modern Politics Adjacent side.

“Maybe we should go check on him? Find out if he’s okay...”

“Teddy doesn’t seem like the kind of guy to _have_ those kinds of problems, let alone open up about that sort of thing.”

_Knock, knock!_

The girls whipped their heads over to Oprah’s room door. Who would that even be?

Upon further inspection, the girls were shocked to find the man in question at the door.

“Teddy? What brings you around here?” asked Oprah.

He looked grim. The girls shared a worried look.

“It’s quite hard to explain,” he said. “I don’t want to do this, but you need to come with me."

“What?” Sarah said. “Why on earth do we need to come with ya?”

Teddy balled his fists. He didn’t want to get mad at either of them, seeing as they were behaving the same way as he was, but he really didn’t want to have to break out the blackmail to make them come.

“You just have to,” he sighed. “Look, it will be explained when we get to where we’re going.”

“You’re scaring us, Ted,” said Sarah, starting to back away slowly.

“Yeah,” Oprah agreed. “Maybe you should go clear your head and come back, honey.”

That’s when Teddy put his foot down, startling both girls with the sound. “I’m sorry, girls,” he said, sounding tearful as he did, which upset them greatly, “I didn’t want to do this, but you’ve left me no choice.” He clapped twice, then stepped back.

Robocop and Terminator immediately appeared in front of him. Sarah and Oprah screamed, and backed up even quicker as the robots infiltrated the room.

“Sarah Palin. Oprah Winfrey. You two – “ Robocop crossed his arms – “are going to have to come with us.”

_“Excuse me?” _Oprah snapped, shielding Sarah with herself. “What do you want with us?!”

“Ted, what is going on here?!” Sarah added, staring at all the men before them. Teddy still kept quiet, head down, disregarding Sarah.

Terminator wrenched Sarah away from Oprah before marching out of the room. 

“Sarah!” Oprah cried, just as Teddy silently followed after them. “Where did you take her?!” she demanded to Robocop.

“Do not worry about that.” He grabbed her by both wrists and yanked her along. ”After all, you are coming, too.”

******

“Where the hell are we, Teddy?!” Oprah shouted to him.

She found herself tied to the very chair that, unbeknownst to her at the time, Teddy was tied to hours earlier. The man in question sat silently at the couch in the back of the room, staring at the floor. On either side of it, Robocop and Terminator stood diligently. The latter, of course, looked as expressionless as ever, but the former seemed to smile – but it wasn’t pleasant from what Oprah saw. Sarah was tied up as well, but instead of being in the middle of the room like Oprah, she was tied up in a chair at a desk, forcibly sitting up straight.

“I can’t say,” he said, not looking up. “He wants to explain it himself.”

“Who does?” Oprah asked.

“Oh no,” Sarah said suddenly. 

“What?” 

“We’re being Henson-ed and Lee-d, aren’t we?”

Teddy looked up, surprise in his features. Oprah looked confused.

“Teddy... what is she talking about?”

“Wow, this one’s smart! I knew I made the right decision telling you to get her, Teddy Bear!“ Walt’s voice echoed through the doors before he walked inside, a grand smile repainted to his face. 

Teddy looked down again. Sarah’s eyes bulged in fear. Oprah balled her fists to the best of her ability.

“You haven’t told them yet, have you?” he asked Teddy. Teddy shook his head. “Good boy!” Then he addressed the girls. “As you know, the school spirit here is tragically dying!”

Oprah whipped her head around best she could to look at Teddy. “You brought us here for some school spirit problem?”

“Oh, come on now, Winnie, he didn’t even blackmail you yet! It’s the best part!” Walt shrugged. ”Oh, well, another day. And I’m the one who wanted you here, I just told him to fetch you! You see, your little mountain of a man here has quite the odd quirk!” Walt skipped around the room until he stood in front of Teddy. With a quick gesture, Terminator and Robocop turned Oprah’s chair around so she could see this. “And if he didn’t do what I said, someone else’s was going to be spilled!”

“I didn’t want to do it...” The girls could hear Teddy’s quiet voice. “I didn’t want to... but I had to...”

Walt’s smile got even wider, if that was even possible. “And you delivered well! Efficiently, I might add, since neither of them came here screaming like you did before.” At this, the girls gasped. “So you will get to sit this round out.”

Teddy finally raised his head once more. “What do you mean?”

Walt snapped his fingers and pointed at the two girls. “It means the next recruitment falls on you girls’ shoulders this time.”

_“What?!”_ they both shouted.

”Yep! And if you two mess up, I’ll spill _your _secrets, get me?”

They sighed. 

“Good.” 

When the girls were released, Walt handed a photo to Sarah. “Code name: Germani. Get moving!”

As soon as they left, Walt turned to Teddy. “Well, well, have your free time. But don’t you even dare try warning any of the targets about this! You warn them, you’re ruined!”

With that, he waltzed back through the doors and left Teddy buried in the couch with the robots on either side of him. 

******

”Now I feel sorry for poor Ted,” said Sarah. “And for ourselves! We’re all the the same boat now.”

”Why does Walt Disney have to be such a tool?” Oprah wondered aloud. 

“Cause I was born this way!”

They stopped.

They looked around. 

And then they saw her.

“There she is now,” Oprah said, “literally doing a concert for anyone who will listen.”

”Which is a lotta people apparently,” Sarah said, wrinkling her nose up at the singer. 

“Well, let’s go. It’s now or never.”


End file.
